As the holidays approach I am reminded of something that  happened a few years ago. I was just arriving at the local mall with my fifteen year old son.  It was a few weeks before Christmas.  We parked the car and noticed several people standing around and gawking.  Nosey as I am I went to check it out.  There was a little girl kicking and screaming while a man was trying to get her into the car.  I told my son to go to the front of the mall and wait for me.  I boldly walked over and asked the man what’s going on, not sure myself what I was getting myself into.  He said the girl was his daughter, she was having a tantrum and he could not calm her down.  At this point he had totally lost control over her and she was on the ground.  I asked the father if I could help and he said yes, please.  I picked the child up, held her tight and whispered in her ear it was alright.  Her father told me how he and his friend were on the way to the mall. As they drove into the parking lot his four year old daughter decided she didn’t want to go.  She did go into the mall with her father and friend and it was there that she let loose crying and screaming.  Her dad picked her up and took her outside and back to the car. There was one problem it was his friends car and his friend had the keys. The poor man was stuck outside the car with an out of control child and shoppers all around.  As I held the little girl tight and talked to the dad she began to calm down.  She was beautiful with fire red hair and deep blue eyes.  As she began to calm down and  I felt her starting to hold on to me rather than me trying to hold her.  She was still mad refusing to talk to her dad and even her mom when called on the cell phone. After about a half hour she was fine. I put her down and as soon as her feet hit the ground she raised her arms back up for me to hold her some more. My heart melted. That day I felt like a made a difference in someones life. I helped people I didn’t even know by stepping out of my comfort zone and taking a chance. That experience moved me so much and will always be embedded in my memory.  I can’t remember the little girls name but I know I will never forget her.

Don’t get me wrong. I truly love kids. It’s what’s being done to them that drives me crazy. I know Mrs. Feel Good is not supposed to go crazy but I have to vent and I have a feeling many of you may feel the same way.

What has happened to the kids of today. They are spoiled, entitled, complaining brats. Now there are exceptions and plenty of them but they are lost in the masses of the obnoxious ones.

Why do kids have to have everything? And why do we as parents give it to them? Do they need every new electronic device as soon as it is on the market. Designer clothes, please, what’s wrong with Wal Mart, K Mart and Target? And my pet peeve, a new car when they turn sixteen as if they have done something to earn it.Going to school, getting good grades, prepping for college, doing chores and not doing drugs or drinking are not reasons for rewarding our children with expensive gifts they have not earned. What do I mean when I say earned? I mean work, as in a job. If we keep rewarding them for being good kids with extravagant toys what kind of value system will they have? I’ll tell you! They will think everything in life comes easy . They will expect more and more from their parents. It doesn’t matter the income of the parents because the higher the income the more expensive the rewards until even those parents are in debt trying to keep them happy. And they will complain when they don’t get what they want and really badly when their friends do.

Our society is creating spoiled brats. Why is this happening, that’s my question? Parents can say no. They forget they are the parents and not their kids friends. They don’t want them to do without. Without what? A bunch of materialistic crap that does nothing to shape them into independent, secure adults. Stop it parents give them what they really need, the necessities of life. Teach them that their good works are for the benefit of the whole family and they are doing them because they love you. Spend time with them showing them by example what life is really all about and how to make the world a better place. Tell them about the poor, sick and unfortunate and ask them how they think they can help. There is so much we can do for our kids that doesn’t involve ridiculous, out of control spending that measures their self esteem by the clothes on their backs. The child that is raised this way will turn into a valuable member of society with values he can take with him for his own family. And guess what? I have no doubt the BMW will come for him if that’s what he wants, and he will have the pleasure of buying it for himself with the money he has earned at his own job. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

Opinions welcome. What do you think?

Guilt is one of the biggest downers in our lives and it affects everyone to some degree. You keep beating yourself up over what you do, what you don’t do and what you did. It becomes a vicious circle. You may as well throw a 50 pound weight on your back and then try to get out from under it. Guilt is like a bad dream that keeps reappearing uninvited. It spreads like a disease and takes over your life. Layer after layer it wears you down until it leaves you sick and broken.

Why are you guilty? Did you fail to meet the expectations of someone else, yourself, or your family. To control guilt we have to look at the whole picture. Are you feeling guilty about something you have done or have not done. Did you make a mistake, disappoint someone or make a fool of yourself? Okay then, we all do these things. We are all human. But you know what, we do the right things too and probably more often than our screw-ups. Did you ever help a friend, or go out of your way at work to meet that deadline, or help an elderly person cross the street, or just be there for your family? These things all count and they go in your success column. Even a meal you prepared with love or a book you finally read, these are successes also and most of the time are overlooked. They are overlooked because they are expected and therefore are not counted while your mistakes are usually unexpected and get the bigger reaction. Stop beating yourself up. Your guilt will become such a stress it will eventually make your sick.

Make a list of all the great things you do. You will be surprised. They are such common moments they go unnoticed. If you make a mistake think about what you have done and how to prevent it from happening again. Then put it away and don’t waste another minute on it. Take a positive approach and think about what you can do to make someone else happy today.