Guilt is one of the biggest downers in our lives and it affects everyone to some degree. You keep beating yourself up over what you do, what you don’t do and what you did. It becomes a vicious circle. You may as well throw a 50 pound weight on your back and then try to get out from under it. Guilt is like a bad dream that keeps reappearing uninvited. It spreads like a disease and takes over your life. Layer after layer it wears you down until it leaves you sick and broken.

Why are you guilty? Did you fail to meet the expectations of someone else, yourself, or your family. To control guilt we have to look at the whole picture. Are you feeling guilty about something you have done or have not done. Did you make a mistake, disappoint someone or make a fool of yourself? Okay then, we all do these things. We are all human. But you know what, we do the right things too and probably more often than our screw-ups. Did you ever help a friend, or go out of your way at work to meet that deadline, or help an elderly person cross the street, or just be there for your family? These things all count and they go in your success column. Even a meal you prepared with love or a book you finally read, these are successes also and most of the time are overlooked. They are overlooked because they are expected and therefore are not counted while your mistakes are usually unexpected and get the bigger reaction. Stop beating yourself up. Your guilt will become such a stress it will eventually make your sick.

Make a list of all the great things you do. You will be surprised. They are such common moments they go unnoticed. If you make a mistake think about what you have done and how to prevent it from happening again. Then put it away and don’t waste another minute on it. Take a positive approach and think about what you can do to make someone else happy today.